The Emperor Protects
Welcome Brothers and Sisters, I’m James, an average closet Warhammer Nerd who has been drawn back into the Warhammer Universe by a Slaaneshi Fiend (friend) I thought I had left the Grim Dark Future behind me in the late 90’s….but it looks like I am back. Join me on my journey back to social and tournament 40K gaming.
So I had told Steve i was going to start planning an army, at least getting some rough idea’s for Emperor’s Children, whilst I waited for the Codex release. But back in the real world a few worrying changes were being rumoured for my job, there was talk I would have my eyes removed and be assigned to clean out the septic tanks in one of the hive cities! HAHA no not quite that bad but still less than ideal and although rumour, things looked rather bleak.
A few other things were going on in my life which started me questioning things and I half jokingly prayed to The Big E, whilst making a cup of tea, saying that if he sorted out my work situation, then I would turn my back on chaos and Slaanesh and I would play a loyalist Space Marine chapter.
Well…. the impossible happened, what was looking inevitable with work became more of an eye of terror in a tea cup and everything was looking rosy again. Call me superstitious but this was a sign from The Emperor Himself!!!!
The Emperor Protects
He was watching over me after all. The emperors children were stomped under my slippers. Twisted Filth!
There was no way I could turn my back on this, The Emperors Children were stomped under my slippers, “twisted filth”!! But who now should I swear allegiance too. The Grey Knights, the purest of them all…nah I don’t want an army of dreadknights. The Black Templars, devout lunatic fanatics and they had High Marshall Helbrecht. I had always loved Hero Hammer, individually really powerful characters who could smash whole armies to dust, yes the power, I needed power! I started to think about my glory days back in the summer of 95’ Daemon Princes, chaos lords, every special weapon and ability that points could buy!!!!!
NO YOU FOOL! you’re not like that no more…… I had changed, I didn’t want to just try and bash opponents with super powered characters. I wanted more balance and more interest, something with some quirky ideas. In the movies, the bad guys often lose because they are lone assholes, they are more powerful but when the good guys team up, they can and they do defeat the evil baddies. Right at the end of my warhammer fantasy days, I had already started to be drawn towards Empire and the idea of being men defending their world against super powered evil tyrants.
OK, so I had decided I would play a loyalist space marine faction, not exactly average men but Imperial Guard seemed a little too far towards normality. Super Human giants who spit venom and are virtually immortal seemed a happy middle ground lol, next step. A Codex.
I decided not to buy one online and save £2 and thought I would venture back to an actual Games Workshop. The first stumbling block was realising that they are now called Warhammer, fair enough, so off I trotted. As I got to the front door I started to feel a strange mix of trepidation and excitement, “YOU’RE AN OLD MAN, YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS?” “DO YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH THESE LITTLE TOY SOLDIERS COST?”
Yes i really want to do this!!! Oh…the shop is closed….. and doesn’t open until 11am what the heck!! About 20 minutes later, I strode in, proud to be a god damn nerd.
No one in the shop, just me and the warhammer dude, jeez I’m not ready for lots of questions and nerd chat, luckily he was on the phone (probably getting deliveroo Macca’s breakfast and a can of monster :-D ). I would get the chance to casually look around the shop without being pounced on I thought. My fears were totally unfounded though, once off the phone, I had already selected my codex and we had a really pleasant chat. I got some sound advice about space marines. The manager also explained that they did beginner sessions, so you could go in a learn the basics of the rules. When I left I had a funny feeling I knew the guy from back in my school days but I couldn’t quite place him. I will return and chat again, in some small way I was already feeling part of the community. And it was good.
I got back home and felt an excitement I hadn’t felt in decades, it was great to feel like a kid again, I flicked through the book (looking at all the cool pictures) and started to think again about which faction to choose. I didn’t know my arse from my Astartes and although I had read and listened to some of the 40K lore my knowledge was very limited. All of the space marine chapters are bad ass super soldier killing machines.
I thought I may find some inspiration within the successor chapters. I started to look through the pages of the codex and did some extra research as I went, thanks to my regular online sources, Majorkill and The Remembrancer. I knew I didn’t need a special character and would model the army around Units not individuals. I needed someone who fought as a cohesive force, blood brothers ready to die for one another no matter the odds but with a wild savage edge to crush their foes and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Brave Leonidas and his bold 300……
I needed The Minotaurs
Image from the talent of Vukašin Ivković
PS…..I know there are no good guys in a Grim Dark Future, just a choice of who’s name you spill blood in.